we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just want nice things and good sex
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
