I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
