3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
