My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
