I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
