he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
