I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
