so that wasnt chicken after all
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
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