somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
