? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
