Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
