I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
