therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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