I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
