we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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