i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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