he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
