I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
