the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
