Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
