Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
