seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
