Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
