I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
