aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
