And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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