My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
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I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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