I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
