You're my little dorito
I just cut my nipple shaving
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
