the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
