I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
