grandma shit on top of the toilet
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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