the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The Olympian is in my bed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
