Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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