She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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