I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize