So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
