I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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