There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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