They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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