im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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