i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
