when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
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he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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