Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
