did you get engaged???
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
