Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Girls should come with a carfax report
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
