just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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