Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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