i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
