I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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