I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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