when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
