She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
