I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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