Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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