There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
zippers are such a cool invention
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
