I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
