I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
