The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've blown a few things in my day
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
