If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize