I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize