When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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