You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
