You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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