Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
