as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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